SPC #15 – toe ring

SPC, black and white month.

Used a bit of unsharp mask on this – I like how the ring came out. It’s a toe ring I’ve worn (every day) since 1996 or ’97. I should really imbue it with a deeper meaning… I’ll think about that.

SPC #14 – black and white

{I like my new header photo. Yes, I took it. Yes, that is a slinky in the branches of a tree. No, I didn’t put it there, I just found it while wandering the apartment complex. Cool.}

February at SPC — go there to see more black and white.

This is another found type object, two end of a bedframe that has been sitting out for a couple of weeks now. It’s lovely; I don’t know whose it is or where it came from really. But I always want to feel those carvings.

SPC #13 – 183 {01-1}

This month at self portrait challenge: photograph your resolutions. (Go there to see more.)

Last year one of the few formal resolutions/goals I made at the beginning of the year was to do 120 scrapbook pages.

It feels ridiculously good to be able to say that I met that goal. In fact, I did 130! (Makes up for the 50 out of 60 I finished in 2005.)

So, this year, I’m upping my goal (and also adding a few extra guidelines).

Scrapbook Page Goal for 2007: 183 pages (that’s half of 365), which is 15-16 pages per month. I’d like to have at least one month where I do 25+ pages (last year I had one month where I did 22, and two where I did 24, so I’d like to push past that for at least one month this year). For my purposes, a “page” is anything 6×6 or larger; in the case of slip-in photo pages, it depends on how much work I did on them (like on journaling cards, cropping, etc.), but for the most part a whole spread will count as one page.

The addendum: These 183 pages must be for us, our family, staying in our house. See of the 130 last year, I’d say more than half probably were in the gift albums for the great-grandparents. This is great, obviously; but I’d also like to finish some things for my own kids (and me!) to look at. (The only exception to this is the heritage album I’m working on, which will be included in the page count; technically it belongs to my father-in-law but by golly he IS going to will it to us, so I’ll count it.)

Do you have any scrapbooking goals this year? Or other creative goals? Or other goals, of any type?

SPC #12 – red and red

Haven’t SPCed in a while, so I’m sticking a toe in for the last week of Red. In my fabulous black velvet dress, with a red scarf… See more here.

SPC #11 – winged

November Self Portrait Challenge — Glam. (Go there for some really fabulous shots this month, including this, this, and this from this week.)

First I felt like I didn’t understand the theme (it’s true, I’m still rather pop music illiterate)… then I felt like it was about the furthest thing from my current life. Or possibly my life ever. Glamorous has never been an adjective I would associate with myself.

But, I’m giving it a try. I attempted a bit of symbolism this time around — apply it as you will.

My comments: yay, Halloween costumes 50% off. I put more staging effort into this one than I ever have so far. I wish I’d closed my eyes for the first one. I’ve also decided that I really must have a tripod and a remote thingie (detonator? that can’t be right…); it would make these things a lot easier, though I do appreciate my 4 year old helping me. And for those who’ve asked: to get the spot color, I used this technique here on it, plus a little diffuse glow filter, and playing with the layer opacity.

SPC #10 – balance

Self Portrait Challenge, Oct. ’06 – imperfection, week 4

I am way too good at singleminded focus, at least in certain situations. And I’m terrible at giving appropriate time to each part of my life.

An old friend of mine says, “Juggling IS balance.” I’m not sure if this is technically true, but it might be a useful metaphor. Wearing multiple hats, keeping all the balls in the air, balancing work and play and family and all that other stuff … it’s a goal I want.

Unfortunately, I don’t know how to juggle — literally or figuratively.

But I want to learn. And hopefully with a sense of humor.

SPC #9 – avoidance

Self Portrait Challenge, October ’06 – Imperfection, week 2

I do not, actually, have to avoid the paparazzi (in fact, I AM the paparazzi… at least in this house), but I have and still do make a career out of avoidance.

It’s at the root of my procrastination, I think. I would rather do almost anything than confront: confront people, confront pain, confront uncomfortableness. In my transient lifestyle as a child, if I ignored or avoided something long enough, it usually would go away — or I would go away from it. All the same.

I realized a while back that the fear and apprehension of pain is worse than the pain itself. Or at least, makes the pain itself so much worse. The more I open and allow the feeling to enter, and then pass, the more bearable it is. Still working on it, to be more conscious about it.

The second thing I want most to learn now: courage.

SPC #8 – imperfection

Self Portrait Challenge theme for October:

Look beyond the surface of your life, dig into your imperfect self and reveal it to us. I want to see the down and dirty you, the messy, gross and ugly you, the side of yourself that you always try to hide, give us some insight into your dreadful secrets. This can be your physical self or your personal space or within your wider life. Be not afraid!

There’s certainly a reason for that last sentence… fear is the word for it. Fear of looking at it all ourselves, definitely fear of sharing it. But here goes.

[no, this is not a pregnant belly, though it is pooched out more than normal.
Please note, this is, of course, a very personal imperfection. For perspective,
I am only 5' 6". I am unquestionably out of shape in a big way. I sit most of each day
and get out of breath easily. I promise I am not overreacting.]

Funny — I think often the things we try to hide are the things that are most obvious. We are ashamed and try to conceal them from others, but if we all pulled them out and compared, we’d probably find our secrets are much the same.A story (related by a friend of mine with two kids, but it could easily apply to me or many of us):

She was stepping into the shower, leaning over, and her youngest, looking in, asked: Mommy, why do you have two tummies? She (should have) replied: This one’s you, and this one’s your sister.

That’s a great story, very true. And yet I can’t just blame my children for this (and regardless, they’re worth it). But the truth is, I have long preferred to ignore my body — and taking care of it — whenever possible. I have never really valued it enough, it seems.

Also, “daily course correction” is something that I struggle with in all areas. I seem to think that once, one big effort, one time doing it, should be enough.

When the truth is, that every day is new, and every day, sometimes every minute, we have to endure, to start again when we need to, to do the small things that make up the bigger ones. (Like exercise and eating better, for instance.)

To learn (everyday): the value of routine.

SPC #7 – with the sibs

I’m the oldest of four children. I wanted to do the Self Portrait Challenge this week on my siblings. Digging around for photos has revealed several important facts:

1. I don’t have nearly enough photos, particularly of my childhood. I’m sure a few of my baby brother, WHEN he was a baby/little kid are hiding in my photo boxes, but they’re not scanned yet. Need. More.
2. I also don’t have any current (or even current-ish) photos of just us, all of us together. Terrible.
3. I miss them.

Lessons learned?

• Take plenty of photos of relationships — like brothers and sisters.
• Get my hands on some negatives from my childhood and scan them.
• We need to get together again soon (easier said than done when you live thousands of miles from each other, all in different directions) AND take some photos.

If you live near your sibs? Appreciate it, okay?

(Taken May 2005) This is my brother, barely two years younger than me. He makes me laugh like no one else. (And when we were kids, he made me mad like no one else. No doubt I sometimes returned the favor.) We were each other’s playmates when we were little. Almost all my early childhood memories include him. My husband and I would really like to live on the same street as him (also my other sibs, I must add).

***

(Taken July 2005) My seeeeeester, as we call each other. We’ve recently instituted a weekly (or biweekly occasionally) phone call, which makes me so happy. She’s at college right now, with all the fun and drama that that entails. I’m so proud of her for how she’s handling herself. She’s had to deal with a lot in her not so long life. I’m so proud and glad to be her sister.

***

(Taken July 2003 – I have several more recent photos but I really like this one. And in it he’s not yet THAT much taller than me. The oldest and yet the shortest: it’s hard not to be bitter…) My baby brother. He was only five when I went away to college. Once when I was back home on break he asked me, “When are you coming to live with us again?” How could I explain never?

He will always in some ways be about five years old in my mind. He’s the baby I really remember. Sometimes I even call my son by his name (and my daughter by my sister’s, cuz hey, the little girl older than the baby, right?).

***

In 2001 my parents divorced. Lots that could be said about that, and these sorts of things are never simple, of course. But the kid in me (and I was 21, but still) has a simple view of it: it sucks.

But the increased bond with my siblings — that’s the silver lining.

SPC #6 – with kids

Obligatory? Cliche? Ask me if I care.

It cannot be coincidence that all the best photos of me, my favorites, with my best smiles — the vast majority of them also include one (or both) of my children. When I want to give a Real Smile for a photo — I imagine I’m looking at them.

The long ago webpage we had for her, had the subtitle: Our Sweetness and Light.

It is something of a miracle that I can even survive each day, faced with this cuteness. (Do you know he protects his big sister from oh so dreaded bugs? I could die.)

See more self portraits with someone here.

Love the Flickrtoys Mosaic Maker. Can you spot and guess the surprise? Stay tuned. (But no, I’m not pregnant….)