SPC #8 – imperfection

Self Portrait Challenge theme for October:

Look beyond the surface of your life, dig into your imperfect self and reveal it to us. I want to see the down and dirty you, the messy, gross and ugly you, the side of yourself that you always try to hide, give us some insight into your dreadful secrets. This can be your physical self or your personal space or within your wider life. Be not afraid!

There’s certainly a reason for that last sentence… fear is the word for it. Fear of looking at it all ourselves, definitely fear of sharing it. But here goes.

[no, this is not a pregnant belly, though it is pooched out more than normal.
Please note, this is, of course, a very personal imperfection. For perspective,
I am only 5′ 6″. I am unquestionably out of shape in a big way. I sit most of each day
and get out of breath easily. I promise I am not overreacting.]

Funny — I think often the things we try to hide are the things that are most obvious. We are ashamed and try to conceal them from others, but if we all pulled them out and compared, we’d probably find our secrets are much the same.A story (related by a friend of mine with two kids, but it could easily apply to me or many of us):

She was stepping into the shower, leaning over, and her youngest, looking in, asked: Mommy, why do you have two tummies? She (should have) replied: This one’s you, and this one’s your sister.

That’s a great story, very true. And yet I can’t just blame my children for this (and regardless, they’re worth it). But the truth is, I have long preferred to ignore my body — and taking care of it — whenever possible. I have never really valued it enough, it seems.

Also, “daily course correction” is something that I struggle with in all areas. I seem to think that once, one big effort, one time doing it, should be enough.

When the truth is, that every day is new, and every day, sometimes every minute, we have to endure, to start again when we need to, to do the small things that make up the bigger ones. (Like exercise and eating better, for instance.)

To learn (everyday): the value of routine.


5 responses to “SPC #8 – imperfection

  1. I hear you on the “Ignoring your body”.

    At my heaviest I outweighed you by 45 pounds and stuff like this is NOT easy to share. HATS OFF!

  2. Wow, thank you for sharing. I was thinking about doing this… and then I totally chickened out. maybe I will have to revisit the idea now…

    Thank you.

  3. This is radiating such core truth-it touched me deeply.

  4. I’m pretty skilled at ignoring my body, too, imagining it still to be young and slender until I look into the mirror, step on the scale or heft it out of this chair.

    Great post. Found you through Michelle.

  5. I loved your honesty and bravery! The photography was really good and the black & white even better :)–>